Family makes stuffed animals to ease pain for others
By Scott Thoma
Losing a child is the most tragic thing a parent has to go through. Kandy Noles Stevens and her husband, Daniel of Marshall, are now devoting their time to keep the memory of their son alive while also helping other families cope with a loss of a child.
In their son’s memory, the Stevens allow children to make stuffed animals using a stuffing machine they possess, much like Build-a-Bear, at fundraising events such as Hospice or Relay for Life. They call their project “Squeeze the Stuffins.” The various stuffed animals cost $20 with half of the money going back into buying supplies for animal shells and stuffing, while the other half goes to the charitable event. The Stevens make no money at all, do not charge mileage for coming to the event, and charge no upfront fee.
On the afternoon of Feb. 19, 2008, 12-year-old Reed Stevens was one of four Lakeview students killed in a school bus accident near Cottonwood. A minivan driven by a 23-year-old Cottonwood woman drove through a stop sign and struck the school bus on the passenger side, causing the bus carrying 28 students to roll over on top of a pickup truck, killing the four students and injuring 17 others.
The other three children were pronounced dead on the scene. Reed was rushed to Avera McKennan Hospital in Sioux Falls, where he later died from injuries sustained in the accident.
The driver of the van was found to have entered the country illegally using a false name, was later convicted on all 24 counts related to the crash and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
While the pain from that day will never subside in any of the families that lost their children, Kandy and Daniel, along with their three other children, have decided to help others deal with these types of tragedies.
Kandy’s first step was to write a book in 2016 entitled, “The Redbird Sings the Song of Hope,” which she said is divided into three main sections. Kandy provides practical ideas of how to bring comfort to those who are hurting.
“The book is basically about the things people just don’t realize about grief,” Kandy explained. “The three sections pertain to what isn’t helpful, what could be helpful, and what is blow-your-socks-off helpful.”
As an example of what isn’t helpful to someone grieving from the loss of a child is when people say “They are in a better place now.”
“I know with 100 percent certainty that no one meant Reed was better off not being with us, but that is how I took it,” she said. “It would be different if someone would say that if he was 75 years old and suffering in pain, but he was 12 years old and vibrant.”
The Stevens’ good friends, Bruce and Kris Shover, once owned and operated Marshall Bowl. Inside the bowling alley, the Shovers had a machine that kids could stuff animals, much like Build-a-Bear. The Shovers were also big supporters of the Ronald McDonald House that assists families who have children in the hospital.
“We told them that we wanted to do something for the (Avera McKennan) hospital because that is where our son died, so we asked Bruce and Kris if they were able to order cheetah shells to be stuffed because that was Reed’s favorite animal,” Kandy said. “Our plan was to give 100 stuffed cheetahs to the hospital so they could give them to kids who had lost a sibling to an accident or an illness. Unfortunately, Bruce and Kris told us they weren’t able to find any cheetahs to order.”
Around a year later, or two years after the bus crash, Bruce phoned Kandy with some good news. He had received a new wholesale catalog that now included cheetah shells.
“We ordered 100 right away,” Kandy said. “We gave them all to Avera McKennan Hospital. We included a little note with each one explaining that they were in honor or Reed and that they were to help remember their brother or sister.”
In 2015, Marshall Bowl closed its doors.
The Shovers invited the Stevens and their children for dinner to tell them the news.
“We had no idea what was going on before we got there,” Kandy said. “When they told us the news that their bowling alley was closing, we all cried.”
But then the Shovers had another piece of information that they needed to tell Kandy and Daniel ... something of utmost importance.
“As a family we made a decision,” Bruce told the Stevens family. “We’re going to gift you the stuffing machine. Our only requests are for you to keep doing the cheetah thing and keep helping the Ronald McDonald House.”
“We saw this as an amazing gift from our friends,” said Kandy. “It was complete and utter shock. Our faces all dropped and there were a lot of tears that day.”
The Stevens family then had the task of trying to come up with a name for their animal stuffing events.
“We couldn’t have it be anything with the words ‘Build-a’ in it because of copyright laws,” explained Kandy. “We batted around a few ideas, but none of them felt quite right.”
Kandy then thought about something Reed had always enjoyed doing and saying.
“Reed was a strong football playing kid for 12 years old,” said Kandy. “He would always come up behind someone and wraps his arms around them and say ‘I’m gonna squeeze the stuffin’ out of you.’ I called the other family members and asked what they thought of the name and everyone knew what I meant. So, we went with Squeeze the Stuffins.”
Children can run the stuffing machine if they choose. It generally takes only three or four minutes to fill an animal shell and requires pushing down on a foot pedal that acts like a switch.
People can have a stuffed animal made and take it home or they can sponsor an animal.
“They can pick an animal out and we will donate it to a children’s charity,” Kandy said. “People love to give back.”
The entire process is in honor of Reed, Kandy said.
“Every moment of every day we think about him and have learned to live and love his memory,” said Kandy about her son. “This is something we want to do to help others grieve. I just love large.”
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