Fargo woman, 93, started early, is still playing
By Carol Stender
Em Laskey of Fargo has broken the glass ceiling of some of Fargo-Moorhead’s formerly all-male bands.
These aren’t rock bands, but, rather, The Shriners Circus, Elks and Legion - now called the Red River Valley Veterans Concert Band bands.
Not all members welcomed her at first, but her talent won them over.
The 93-year-old continues to perform with the three bands and, earlier this summer, played her piccolo with the Metro Community Band.
Music has always been a staple in Em’s life. Both her mother and grandmother were church organists and Em was a pianist who started taking piano lessons at age 7. She continued the lessons for 12 years.
“All were very musical,” she said. “On Sunday nights, the hired men would come to the house and we would sing around the piano. We did a lot of popular songs.”
Her grandmother would play the piano for the special get-togethers and, later, Em herself would accompany the group.
When the family had a conference, they decided Em should learn to play the flute.
“I started in fourth grade and I thought it was always entertaining,” she said. “The first chair was always the one who played the piccolo. The piccolo is just fun. One band director said that no matter what you are playing, if there’s a piccolo, someone will hear it. It brings out a greater responsibility to what I am playing.”
Em loved music, but added she’s “not the teacher type.”
She attended the University of Minnesota majoring in Medical Technology and, as an elective, took music. She performed with the U of M’s concert band and traveled with the group to several of their tours. Women weren’t, however, allowed to be in the marching band.
Her senior year, the director took a sabbatical and the interim director started a women’s or “girls auxiliary” band. Once the director returned, the group was dissolved.
Em and Bill met in college and, when they married, like much of their life, it was full of activity. That weekend he was sworn into the ROTC and both graduated and they married. Em was was interning with her med lab tech position.
The two moved as Bill served in the military first in Detroit and then in Nuremberg, Germany. They moved to Fargo following his service. Bill worked in the family business - Northwestern Equipment and Midland Diesel Service as Em worked in medical technology until the couple started a family. She was a stay-at-home mom with the couple’s four children.
Music was a centerpiece in the home, much like it was for Em. Each child took piano lessons.
Em didn’t have much time to play, she said. When she did play the piano, it was to entertain her children and herself.
When they grew up and left home, she heard about Concordia College’s Communiversity FM. Sign-up for courses took place in January for four sessions. One course, in particular, caught her eye. It was the “Back to Band” session.
“That seemed like fun to me,” she said. “The director for the Elks Band was there and he invited me to play with that group.”
That was the beginning of her local band involvement.
“I knew a few of the people who played in the Elks band, so that helped,” she said. “I was delighted to have a place to play for a change.”
Even though she was thrilled to be performing once more, there were challenges.
“Most were pretty friendly,” she said. “Some weren’t. But after a bit, a couple of women joined us.”
A member of the Legion Band at her church told her the Legion was going to ask women to join the band and he turned around and walked away. A friend who played trombone asked her why she wasn’t at the Legion Band’s practice.
“I wasn’t invited,” she said.
He told her the individual who mentioned the Legion Band’s invite to women was supposed to ask her to join. And she did take part after that, she said.
“Some didn’t want me to be there,” she said. “Others did. I concentrated on the friendly ones.”
The Shriners Band was invited to play for the NDSU basketball games around the Christmas holidays and Em came to perform. She was told they didn’t have music for flutes.
“I told them give me the clarinet music and I will transpose it,” Em said. “The director was impressed and invited me to play with the circus band.”
Some challenged her involvement with that group, but she pointed to the women who took part in Shrine Circus events like selling popcorn and hot dogs. She was able to play with the band and also played piano with the Shrine Dance Band.
“I played last year a couple of times with them,” she said.
In 1999 she was invited to perform with the North Dakota State Legion Band.
“In its existence, the band had never had a woman performing,” she said. “That was a real trial because there were quite a few who didn’t want me there. They made it quite clear, but there were some nice ones in the band. It took awhile. They came around because I was a good player. They would say, ‘We never heard that part played before’ and it was because no one played it.”
She performed with the group for 21 years. When she left the group, there were four women in that band.
“That was progress,” she said.
Among the groups she’s performed with - Elks, Shriners and Legion - Em has also performed with the Red River Valley Veterans Concert Band and is a founding member of the Lake Agassiz Wind Symphony, which has been in existence for 30 years.
Her strong character was noted among her peers. She was the first woman appointed to the Clay County Planning Commission. She served as its chair for eight years.
“I like to think I did some good there,” she said.
Through her husband’s company, she earned her commercial pilots license and an aircraft instrument rating. She became a pilot for the company and flew for many of the company’s trips.
Bill passed away in March and Em’s musical performances have been put on hold for awhile. She had shoulder surgery and isn’t able to move her hands and arms like she needs to perform. That doesn’t deter Em who has plans to play after the first of the year.
She has her instruments - three piccolos (two are wooden) and two flutes - ready.
“Music was so important to me,” she said. “It always came first. If I can’t find a way to perform…It matters so much to me. It still does. It defines who I am.”
Her forthright attitude is evident as she describes how she handled the questions of her, a woman, performing with all-male groups.
“I love a challenge,” she said.
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